Thursday, October 1, 2009

The Menu Guy

Menu Guy (MG): Man, I wish I could read. (Puts down menu)
Pam: You're illiterate?
MG: No, I said I can't read.
Pam: Umm... It's the same thing.
MG: Is it, now?
(SiLeNcE)
Pam: I wish the waiter would hurry up.
MG: What? Why?
Pam: I'm ready to order.
MG: Do you want to play cards?
Pam: No, not really.
MG: I'm really good at "Go Fish".
Pam: Congratulations.
MG: It's a cool game because I don't have a job, and it's only way for me to relax.
Pam: You don't have a job?
MG: I have to poop. Excuse me.
(MG leaves)
Pam: Waiter? Waiter! Anyone!
Waiter: Yes?
Pam: I need my cappuccino to go, please. And make it fast.
Waiter: Yes, of course.
(3 or so minutes pass. MG returns)
MG: Pam! I missed you!
Pam: Uhhhh....
MG: Pam, dear, I have something I need to ask you.
Pam: (Oh, no..) Yes?
(MG gets down on one knee)
MG: I know we haven't known each other long, but..(pulls out a ring from his pocket) will you marry me?
(Pam finally snaps.)
Pam: No! You won't, nor ever will be, my husband. You're annoying, you don't have a job, and you can't even read! Anything else that I need to know?
(MG looks away somberly)
MG: Well, I do live in my mother's base—
Pam: Goodbye, Menu Guy!
(Pam grabs the coffee from the waiter on his way to their table. She storms out the door and never saw him again.)

2 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh, that was so funny!!! I loved how he seemed to somehow be psycologically dissabled! like he had two personalities and yet he was so easy to love! cute and sad! great job!

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  2. aw man! i spelled disabled wrong, dang it. oh well, my bad.

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