Few were like him. He could move mountains with his vocabulary. He could make children cry with his metaphors. And on Fridays, he could start a forest fire with the sparks of his detailed descriptions. Some could say he knew his way around the writing world. Others would say he was a genius. To me, however, he was my teacher.
Mr. Kyle Nelson has always been an inspiration to me and my writing—well, ever since my sophomore year at Lone Peak High School. I was on the football team, and he turned out to be one of the coaches. He seemed very knowledgeable, and I was impressed. When I walked into my English class, there he was, sitting on top of a desk in the middle of the classroom.
Many have considered the man as an easy teacher, one that would give you a decent grade if you simply did the work. However, I can say that without him, my writing would be bland, stupid and unoriginal. During that year, my outlook on writing has drastically changed for the better.
No man can say simply that he was just another teacher. Yes, he did have his flaws, and sometimes questionable teaching styles, but in the end, his students' imagination was created, not just improved upon. No one could ever bring him down. No one could diminish his legacy. No one could ever teach like Mr. Nelson.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
So what the crap is your gift? I really like the beginning, by the way. And I agree all the way through, about nelson and all. But What is your gift to give?
ReplyDeleteAgreed. I read it all down to the last word waiting for this gift to be stated. It never was, maybe you should figure that out before you write more?
ReplyDeleteHey, just a heads up. I'm putting up my gift later in the essay. It's going to have this essay being the gift I'd give back. It's not exactly all the way finished with my points.
ReplyDeleteI think that the gift that you are hinting at is the gift of gaining your imagination.
ReplyDeleteI love the way that you organized it so it flowed. Like the other people said it is a little bouncy and not compoletly like an essay.
I noticed that you talked up our teacher almost the whole time. I also noticed some cool metaphores at the beginning. metaphores are always good.
ReplyDeleteI think you were just trying to quickly get it done before class( look at the time) so you didn't have time to finish it.
I would like to read the rest of it but maybe you could connect it and say that you could also become a teacher and give the same gift or something else like that. whatever you do you need to add to it.
I think this is what I understand from your writing: Mr. Kyle Nelsen is your idol. Do I understand what your gift is going to be? No.
ReplyDeleteMy suggestions would be to specify your gift. Come up with reasons why that gift is making a difference in your life. "My writting has never been the same", give some examples, maybe?
Andy Roddick
I enjoy the essay. I really like when essay writers get personal. I liked that you shared about your experiences with Mr Nelson and how he has helped you improve your writing. I feel that personal stories like this can make or break an essay.
ReplyDeleteExpand more on what the literal gift is. Don't just write about personal experiences, while these are awesome, because the main point of this writing contest is to write an essay about giving a gift.
so what gift are you giving? the gift of a good teacher? maybe the gift of a brown noser? haha. The begining was good, it definitely grabbed the reader, however im not sure what the gift is... and how are you going to give it?
ReplyDeleteYou've written this whole thing about Karl Nielson. FyI I just word counted you and thats 237 words. I exspect more words on how your going to give a gift yourself. Excellent job on your start.
ReplyDelete